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Just one day after I posted my work frustrations here, I got drawn unexpectedly into a long talk with my boss…and like I described to TI the next day…it was like verbal diarrhea. Everything came spilling out. On one hand, it was kind of a relief to get everything - or almost everything - off my chest. On the other, it was kinda uncomfortable spilling it out. I don’t know why. Anyways, TI and I did have a short talk with our boss as well on the day before my own talk…merely to express how the atmosphere at our section has changed in the past year…how everyone seemed to be frustrated, tired, etc. And what resulted from that was our boss, L, going to our big boss, M…who decided that she wanted to have drinks with us on Friday evening after work…presumably to find out the cause of all this dissatisfaction.

So on Friday, we trooped off to a nearby coffeehouse and sat ourselves down, prepared for a grilling session. Instead, it turned out to be a pretty good forum as we let down our guard and began to verbalize our problems and frustrations to M. M in turn was very open and it did give us a glimpse of the person behind the machine that we’ve always thought she was. Some tears were shed, emotions were abit frayed, but we all came out unscathed and with a tiny feeling of hope in most of us that things might actually change for the better. Though at one point, I was quite fed up with another colleague’s insistence that to limit our workload to our capacity won’t help the business, that we should think of the business too…I was already staring daggers at her and at one point, both L and myself had to interrupt her to tell her that “Hello…it’s not that we don’t want to do it, it’s because we already don’t have the capacity to handle anymore! Why don’t you try stepping in our shoes to see how hard it is…?!?”

Anyways…a short post-mortem talk with TI revealed that it didn’t exactly solve HER problems. She’s still deliberating on her issue. She also noticed that I didn’t say all that I was feeling either. Which i didn’t. Probably 70% came out? The other 30% remained unsaid because it was too sensitive to mention. The reason why I probably picked up on the 30% in the first place was because I’ve reached that point where I’m unsatisfied with the job, therefore I started feeling frustrated over things that have happened before, and it keeps playing about in my head all the time. Not a good thing, I know, But I do feel that I am justified in feeling annoyed. At times, I felt that the way work was given to me and/or taken from me was unfairly executed. And that somehow, I’ve been ‘cheated’ in a way. But on hindsight, it was partly my fault for not being strong enough to stand up for myself and say…”Hey, this is not in my portfolio. It’s yours. So why should I be doing it for you when I have my own work to complete first?”. Yes, even though we are working in a team, I think it’s only fair that my own work should be completed first before I take on a job from someone else’s portfolio. And I think that it’s only fair if my own portfolio should stay with me…not half given to someone else. And the one thing that has irked me since forever was the issue on my marriage leave. Until now, I don’t know whether it was unintentional or intentional…what happened was this: As permanent employees, we are given 10 days of marriage leave for our first marriage in Citi. And this has to be utilized within 6 months from our marriage registration. I can’t remember the dates exactly, but what happened was that the letter of confirmation of my position as a permanent staff was dated before the 6 months were up. But the letter was only given to me after the last day of the expiry of that 6-month time period. So naturally, I couldn’t take that 10 days marriage leave. I know…something that happened so long ago, and something that isn’t that big a deal should’ve been forgotten by now, right? But I just felt so cheated over the whole episode. Anyways, I never brought it up with my bosses and have kept it to myself since then. Maybe it really was unintentional? It’s just that when you feel frustrated, you tend to feel that the company has wronged you in so many ways, and that’s probably what I’m feeling now. And all this was not something I could really verbalize to my bosses the other day.

Anyways, as a result of a long series of talks…I’ve made up my mind to take a break from my job for about 3 months. Ideally, I would like to start my break in August so that I have the next two months to clear up and handover my existing work (and even that seems too long! I want my break to start now, now NOW!). And after that 3 months, I would like to return to Citi to start on the new area of work that I was supposed to be already doing…a fresh start, if you may. And how it goes from there is anybody’s guess. Part of the reason why I want this time off is not only to take a rest from work, but to take some time off for myself. Furthermore, we would like to start planning for a family, so this may be the last chance for me to get some ‘ME‘ time. Whether or not I can take unpaid leave or I have to resign remains to be seen. I’ve told L that even after Friday’s session, I’m still determined to take this time off and that I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow at work. But it’s a relief to have finally made up my mind. At least I feel some sense of peace after so many weeks of doubts and contemplations and discussions.

And I hope that my other two colleagues will be able to find their own peace of mind too…whether their decision is to continue on in their present jobs or otherwise.

Thanks to my Foodsters’ guide…hubby and I have been trying a few new places for the past few weeks. I’ve been procrastinating on writing down my reviews…finally found the time today! Here goes…

Checkers (19 Lrg Setia Bistari 2, Bkt Damansara; 03-20953304): This was one hard restaurant to book…my first 3 attempts failed cause they were already fully booked! I finally grew a bit smarter and attempted to call a day earlier…*blush*…and we finally managed to get a table. It’s a really small restaurant, about 6 tables or so. Sam, the owner, recommended the following dishes: Porky’s Best, which are pork ribs with bbq sauce and hot mustard sauce, scampi, Mexican pork, and spaghetti with pesto sauce (can’t remember the actual name of the dish…must really bring a note book along when i go for my food trips!).

We went with my parents, so we were able to order more than usual…share-share la! The spaghetti arrived first…and we all hungrily dug in. The clams were really fresh, and the spaghetti was good enough to impress my dad (he really likes pasta!). Dish one…thumbs up! The Mexican pork and Porky’s Best came next…the Mexican pork was lovely. Soft succulent marinated pork meat…it totally melts in your mouth. According to Sam, this part of the meat is usually impossible to buy from the butcher…it’s apparently the most tender part of the piggy, and the butcher will usually bring it home to his family instead! True or not, we all dug in! I personally preferred the Mexican pork to Porky’s Best…probably because I found the latter to be a tad bit on the spicy side. By then, we were all quite stuffed…but we still had one more dish to go. The scampi was brought to our table with a huge loaf of bread. It looked amazingly good…and trust me, it tasted even better than it looked. The prawns were fresh, the bread was crunchy on the outside, soft and hot on the inside…perfect for soaking up the soup/sauce the prawns were cooked in. Plenty of tomatoes for flavour…and surprise surprise…melted cheese! Suffice to say, we cleaned out the whole dish…bread, soup, cheese and all! Unfortunately…our gluttony prevented us from ordering dessert….=(. A definite “must go back” place!

Bon Bon (20 Jln Telawi 2, Bangsar Baru; 03-22831100): We decided to bring my parents here for a belated Mother’s Day celebration. Although the restaurant was on the less happening side of Bangsar’s Telawi area…parking was still a huge problem. We finally parked somewhere near Bangsar Village and took a long walk over. The ambience of the restaurant was very much like a typical Italian/semi-posh restaurant. The funny thing was that we were the ones there throughout the course of our dinner…no other tables were occupied as far as we could see! Anyways….on to the food review. We ordered garlic bread to share, seafood soup and baby octopus salad. My mum had gnocchi with mushroom, dad had chicken breast, hubby had lamb shank, and i had Aglio Olio angel hair pasta. And ze verdict isss…..garlic bread was good….very garlicky, and piping hot. The soup was not too bad…plenty of seafood inside, but nothing to shout about. Don’t know about the octopus salad though…wouldn’t touch it with a foot-long pole. Mum’s gnocchi was pretty good, but I liked the mushrooms more than the gnocchi itself. Hubby loved his lamb shank, dad said his chicken breast was so-so only….and I totally fell in love with my pasta. Angel hair is somewhat skinnier than normal spaghetti, so it just doesn’t give you feeling that you’ve eaten too much. There was plenty of garlic and olive oil…it was just scrumptious. As usual, we were too full for dessert…so we left shortly after finishing dinner, and took a long long walk back to the car.

Gusto Bar and Bistro (15 Jln PJU 8/1 D’sara Perdana; 03-77242878): I read a review some time back about this restaurant, and when I saw it while flipping through Foodsters’ guide, we decided…why not? So off we went in my Honda Jazz…(I drove!)…=) The restaurant has an open air concept…most of the tables were out on the deck with only a few in the air-conditioned area. We decided to sit outside for a change…fresh air never killed anyone, right? Our first dish was an appetizer of fried prawns with aioli. Pronounced ay-OH-lee, it’s a light mayonnaise style sauce laden with fresh garlic. The prawns were lightly battered and not to oily, but for me, the aioli was the star of the dish. We both ordered soup as well. Hubby had….oh dear. I forgot what he had. Never mind…will update when I find out. I had seafood soup which turned out to be so-so only. For our main course, I order salmon with mango, while hubby had the recommended black pepper rib eye steak. Unfortunately, my salmon turned out to be half cooked and had to be sent back to the kitchen…=( Hubby said his steak was mediocre… really nothing much to shout about. Oh well. The ambience was quite nice though, although we did have a few mozzies buzzing around. This is a place to come with a group of friends on the weekend for some western/Italian food and light conversation. Unfortunately, we didn’t manage to order dessert cause we were too stuffed (it happens EVERY single time!!). When we left, a few tables were already occupied and the mozzies were up and awake. We ended taking a long walk around Ikea to walk off all the food….appetizer, soup and main course sits pretty heavily in one’s stomach, y’know? =)

Greenview (468, Jln 19/3 Petaling Jaya; 03-79549263): Foodsters’ guide recommended this restaurant for their butter crabs and the Sang Har Meen. We went there on a Saturday night..and even though we arrived at 7pm, there were some tables that were already finishing their dinner. My parents ordered the 2 recommended dishes plus steamed bamboo fish (Soon Hock) and fried asparagus. The Sang Har Meen, which is basically prawn noodles with egg gravy, arrived first and we all eagerly dug in. The noodles were just crunchy enough and the prawns were big and fresh. Hubby loved the gravy and went back for multiple helpings…=) The fish and asparagus were nothing special…something you could find in any normal Chinese restaurant. The crabs, however, was pretty interesting. It tasted like butter prawns…and the fried bits of egg (or something that tasted like egg) went perfectly well with white rice. Mum and I aren’t big crab fans…more due to laziness to use our fingers than anything, so the dish was mostly finished off by my dad and hubby. One of the crab was chocked full with crab roe….not something I would eat but I could see hubby liked it quite a lot. We finished off dinner with a huge bowl of ice cold longans and sea coconut. The portion was so large that we had two bowls each! All in all, it was a good dinner…definitely a place to go with your family (so that you can order more dishes!)…and definitely a place hubby and I want to try again! Oh…and we also ta-paued (take-away) the remainder of the crab for the cat that always visits our apartment’s parking lot…hehe…

New Paris Restaurant (62-66 Jln SS2/72 Petaling Jaya; 03-79559180): We stopped by at New Paris for lunch on the day we were supposed to collect my car. I had sweet and sour pork rice and hubby ordered boneless pork rice. But what really attracted me was when the waiter walked past our table with a huge plate of butter prawns for another table…I was practically drooling! Anyways, lunch was cheap and good (though the soup we ordered tasted really funny)…will definitely go back for dinner one day, even if it’s just to try the butter prawns! =)

Cheow Yang (157, Jln 2/6 Petaling Jaya): The last time I visited Cheow Yang was ages and ages ago. Foodsters’ guide recommended the roast pork rice, so we decided to give it a try. To my surprise, the rice came with chinese sausages (lap cheong)…one of my favourite ‘bad-for-health’ food. Hubby went all out and ordered lobak, century egg, weird black stuff, more chinese sausages and a bowl of prawn mee. After all that, we still weren’t full enough…so we wanted to buy a couple of yau char kuih (fried chinese crullers) from the stall outside (apparently it’s really famous for yau char kuih!). Well, someone high up there must have decided that we’d already eaten too much cause it was all sold out…=( Nevermind…all the more reason to go back…..hehe…

Restaurant Shang Ri-La (Damansara Heights, behind Klimts): Both my mum and Foodsters’ guide recommended a coffeeshop named Seng Lee at that area for the fried kway teow. But that coffeeshop was so packed and hot when we arrived that we decided to walk further down to Shang Ri-La (also recommended by Foodster’s as well for the duck wan tan mee and the fried kway teow). Since both hubby and I are not big fans of fried kway teow, we went for the wan tan mee instead. Predictable, hubby ordered the duck mee, while I went for char siew kai si (roasted pork and chicken strips). It took quite long for our food to arrive, but it was well worth the wait. The noodles were springy with just the right amount of sauce and I was pleasantly surprised to find mushroom strips as well. Hubby also enjoyed his duck mee…it was quite a big portion, actually! And after lunch, we stopped by the stall in front of Seng Lee to buy rojak (a Malaysian fruit ’salad’…the stall was recommended by my mum) to eat back home. The rojak had really thick sauce, so it didn’t get all wet and diluted from the moisture in the fruits by the time we reached home, unlike some other stalls. Also another ‘must-go-back’ stall!

Tung Poh (3 Jln 2/30 Petaling Jaya): We just had lunch there today. I actually wanted to try another restaurant in SS2, called ‘Shall We Meet?” but hubby shot my idea down. This shop is supposedly famous for their steamed fish head with plenty of garlic ginger sauce. And that was exactly what we ordered in addition to fried spinach in soup and fried crispy pork. We didn’t expect the fish head to be so huge…but the meat was succulent and sweet, and the ginger garlic sauce just added an extra ‘kick’ the the meal. The food was very ‘ching’, ie. light and not oily….and it had a very home-cooked feel to it. The crispy pork tasted somewhat like over-fried bacon…but eaten with the cucumber chunks, it tasted pretty good. There were pictures of other dishes up on the wall…would definitely like to come back again with my parents so that we can try more stuff. And a plus point…they had really nice soya bean….thick and not too sweet….=)

And some recent places that we found on our own:

Bakerzin (Bangsar Village): Amazingly light strawberry shortcake, fluffy crepes, some chocolate dessert thingy (forgot the name…)…a great place to come for afternoon tea. The prices do burn a hole in your pocket though…=)

Superbowl (1 Utama, old wing, near Barn Thai): Come here for the super smooth Tau Foo Fa. And I really mean super smooth!

Shall We Meet (SS2, same row as Novel House): Yet another Hong Kong eatery…but this one has an interesting noodle menu. You get to choose your combination of toppings, ie. shredded pork, fried sausages, eggs, etc.), your choice of noodle and your choice of sauce. Talk about not knowing what to order!! The rest of the fare is pretty standard….French bread with butter, etc. etc. The menu contains pages after pages of different type of food, from rice to noodles to Nissin noodles to dessert to ice blended drinks…definitely not a good place to go if you are an indecisive sort of person!

And something for laughs. We found this in a hardware store in 1 Utama. Reminds me of my mum’s old car where a secret compartment had the label ’secret compartment’ in the front for all and sundry to see!

It’s bad enough the first picture had the key hider labelled ‘key hider’…but EXTRA LARGE key hider?!?

I actually wrote the following post (Frustration) on Sunday…but somehow, didn’t feel like posting it up yet. I’ve been talking to my parents, talking to my hubby, talking to friends (thanks again, mvo and my two wonderfully supportive colleagues…). My long talk with my parents on Thursday yielded plenty of advice and support, wise words from people with plenty of working experience. It really felt good to share and to hear their opinions. They pointed out things that I’ve never thought of….it’s true about them eating more salt than us eating rice…=))

Hubby has been very supportive. He says he can see me ’suffering’…from not being happy at work to falling sick. I’ve been getting all sorts of weird illness lately….well, my stomach has been extremely sensitive and every now and then, I’ll get a stomach bug. Then it was the constant headache (when I think back, the doctor may have been right about the headaches being due to stress!!)….then on and off flu. Recently, my wisdom tooth started giving me problems…couldn’t really chew properly cause biting down hard just hurt my gums and teeth. Then I had a really bad mouth ulcer that took more than a week to heal. Then the edges of my lips started to crack, dry up and left a flaky red patch around my lips….so for the past 2-3 weeks, I looked like a girl who didn’t know that lipstick was supposed to stay within the boundaries of the lips!! =) And now, the corner of my eye has swelled up. And yesterday’s 5 hour meeting left me with a pounding headache on the way home, gastric because I couldn’t leave halfway to grab a bite to eat, dizziness when I reached home…and to top it all off…once I reached home, I threw up my hastily eaten peanut butter sandwich which I stuffed into my mouth the minute I got back to my desk after the meeting.

Is it time to throw in the towel?

Frustration (Sunday’s post)

I’ve been thinking alot about my job lately. For the past 1-2 months, the workload has increased tremendously, and I’m now playing a catch-up game with my timelines. As of last week, I have 28 things on my to-do list…all of which has a timeline…and most of which has to be finished by the end of next week. I’m feeling so overwhelmed all of a sudden…and I think for the first time, I’m actually stressed out with my work. And even though I managed to clear about 1/3 of the 28 items by last Friday, I know this is not the end…that next week, another 10 will probably join my list.

No boundaries: Part of my frustration also stems from the feeling that my portfolio isn’t as defined as it used to be. One of my portfolio was taken away from me, then given back to me, and will soon be taken away again. In addition to the other portfolio that I’m handling, it feels as if any ad-hoc analysis gets thrown my way, irregardless whether it falls under my job scope or not, irregardless if it’s someone else’s portfolio or not. And I’m not the only one who feels this way….don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I feel as if I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing there anymore. At the same time, I see another colleague not having to do any sort of analysis at all. Am I just being too passive, accepting everything that comes my way?

Pressure: Pressure from within, pressure from without. My parents have always taught me that whatever I do, I should always try to do my best. Which is what I apply to my work. But it feels as if it’s always not enough. Whatever analysis that I do, I never feel as if I’ve found that break-through solution…that one thing that will fix whatever problem that we are experiencing now. And it’s absolutely frustrating. And I always think…am I doing well enough? My appraisal says I am. I feel I’m not. And it’s not only the pressure from the work itself…there’s also the pressure from our big boss. Even having a normal conversation with her is exhausting…much less a full-blown meeting. Most, or almost all of us enter a work-in-progress meeting with her with pounding hearts and sweaty hands. If the meeting is on Monday, the whole weekend is ruined. If it’s on Wednesday, there goes our Mondays and Tuesdays. The tension during the meeting is so thick that you can literally cut through it with a butter knife. We are all sitting at the edge of our chairs…just counting down the seconds to an explosion where she’ll start screwing someone up down left right centre. That’s how bad it is. And now that I have a caller-id phone…it scares the hell out of me whenever I see her name on the screen…whether it’s just to search for my boss, or to ask for some info. I’m as twitchy as a bunny’s nose whenever she’s around. And do I really want to be 35 years old in the future and still be scared of her?

Colleagues: Am I the only one frustrated with my job? No. There are at least 2 more who feel the same way…though for different reasons. And when we get together to talk about it…the frustration just multiplies. And colleagues for another reasons…there are some real idiots that we have to work with. ‘Nuff said.

So what’s great about this job?

• The team….great people in our team, good boss.
• The basic job…love SAS programming, it’s challenging, it’s interesting.
• The salary…I can support myself
• The familiarity…am so used to the data, the products.

But is that enough reason to stay?

And right now, I just feel so confused. Should I go on? Should I quit? Should I take a break? I’m just feeling both mentally and physically exhausted. There are days when I wake up and I just have to force myself out of bed. At work, I’m just counting down the hours before I can leave. But even after I leave, my mind is still at the office, still thinking about what needs to be done tomorrow, solving some problem I was working on before I left.

On one hand, I want some time to myself, to read up my Feng Shui and Bazi, to take some dancing classes, some drum lessons, some language classes. I want to have kids and have time for them. I want to venture into some small business of my own.

On the other, I’m scared of giving up the consistency of a monthly salary. And take away all the frustration…I still like my job. And I still have a competitive enough nature to want to prove myself.

But do I like it enough to still want to continue on? And for how many more years? This feeling of discontentment is coming more often. And it’s sad…cause I used to really love this job. I looked forward to going to the office, never used to dread Sunday evenings. Right now, I feel as if my body is physically rebelling against going to work…I’m lethargic most of the time, I’m getting headaches, weird allergies, stomach aches. I haven’t been for yoga the past few weeks cause I’m just too tired on Sundays to get out of bed. I need afternoon naps. I fall asleep in the car on the way to work. I fall asleep on the way back. And worst of all…I just don’t seem to care about what’s going on in the office anymore. We aren’t doing so well in this particular area? I just can’t bring myself to really care. Want me to do an analysis on it? Sure…but really…is there any point? What good will come out of it? Will anything drastically change? No…I don’t think so. So I spend 2 weeks trying to find out the problem, create a pretty pretty slideshow, the bosses troop in to listen and question, action items are discussed…and then…zilch. So why bother in the first place?

Do i see myself with a future in this company…this department? If I were to look at it objectively…no I don’t. So what if my boss has identified me as a high-potential employee? Where do I go from there? I can see a ceiling at where I’m standing…there’s no way I can be promoted any higher than I am right now, not unless the people above leave, get fired, jump off the building, etc. How high can my salary increase per year? I mean…let’s face it…all of us work for the money. If there’s no money to be earned, most of us wouldn’t work at all.

And after contemplating on this for the past week…I still haven’t come to any conclusion, any solution. and I know I’ll wake up on Tuesday with that same feeling of dread in my tummy, proceed with my morning routine of washing up, bathing, changing, dragging my feet to the car and trudging into the office to begin another miserable week. And I’ll probably finish one or two things on my to-do list. And add one or two more onto the list. And feel my spirits lift at the end of the day, only to crash again when it’s time for bed and a new day.

And is that life for the next 30 years?

There’s a big hoohah on Shah Alam’s City Council’s new rules on dog ownership…ie. the need for written consent from neighbours, etc.

And yet…and yet…a man is allowed to keep 30 cats in a flat.

What the…?!? I like dogs and cats equally…but this borders on the ridiculous.

Anyways, I managed to get off work at 5pm today! We were given a choice for our take-a-break day…either on Wednesdays or Fridays from 11am-7pm or 9am-5pm. I decided on Wednesdays, 9-5…beat the jam…or so I thought. *groan*. Anyways, after 3 years in Citi, we’ve had almost 150 TAB days, and I think I’ve only ever left at 5pm about 10 times….so I’ve promised myself that going forward, I’m going to utilize each and every one of my TAB Wednesdays. Don’t nobody come search for me with work to do at 4.55pm…they can all go fly kite!

I stopped by at Bangsar Village to buy dinner from 1920s…my favourite Pomodoro and Basilico spaghetti and mushroom soup…yummy! And also a quick stop at Village Grocer for some groceries. And this is why you should never NEVER shop for groceries when your tummy is screaming out for food:

• Ribena Pastilles
• Muzic Peanut Rhumba Wafers
• Delfi Chocolate and Coffee Crâ??®me Twister (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!!!)
• Delfi Mini Chocolate Twister
• Chocolate Creme Oreos
• Smucker’s Goober Peanut Butter and Grape Jam
• Sara Lee Peach and Mango Cheescake (not shown)

And hubby just came back with mcDs strawberry sundae for me…thanks dearest! Just don’t complain when I develope love handles…

To top off my day…2 hours of The Amazing Race. It’s the season finale…and I’m rooting for Rob and Amber. Yeah yeah…they are really sneaky snakes etc. etc…but you’ve really got to give it to Rob for cooking up all his cunning schemes! Love ‘em or hate ‘em…they’re a pretty good team!

Following that…one hour of CSI Las Vegas! Bliss!

And my new car is an absolute dream to drive. Hubby donated his amplifier and tweeter from his old Hyundai Sonata, so my Jazz spent last Friday in a workshop getting outfitted with a better sound system. The handling is lovely…though the brakes are a wee bit sensitive. Plenty of compartments for me to put all my stuff…lovely lovely lovely!!

OK…the only Chuck Palahniuk book the bookshops here seem to carry is Diary. I did find a dog-eared copy of Invisible Monsters…but for that price, I want a pristine book that I can dog-ear myself!

So in my quest to find a wrapped copy of Invisible Monsters, I went to both MPH and Kino and I eventually ended up with Forever Amber by Kathleen Winsor and The Ideal Bride by Stephanie Laurens (buy 2 books and get 20% off the cheaper one!), and The Crimson Petal And The White by Michel Faber.

Forever Amber is a whopping 972 pages thick…it took me two long days to get through the whole book! The ‘official’ review:

When Forever Amber was originally published in 1944 it created a sensation and catapulted its author to instant fame. The novel sold over 100,000 copies in its first week, and Kathleen Winsor became a household name. In Amber St. Clare, she created a passionate, willful and unforgettable heroine to rival Scarlett O’Hara and Rebecca de Winter. Considered bawdy and immoral, the book was banned in Boston and burned in the streets, yet it went on to sell over 3 million copies worldwide, was a bestseller in 16 countries and outsold almost every other book of the decade.

Abandoned pregnant and penniless on the teeming streets of London, sixteen-year-old Amber St. Clare uses her wits, beauty and courage to climb to the highest position a woman could achieve in Restoration England, that of favourite mistress of the Merry Monarch himself, Charles II.

From whores to highwaymen to courtiers and noblemen, from the Great Plague and the Fire of London to the intimate passions of ordinary, and extraordinary, men and women, Amber experiences it all. But throughout her trials and escapades, she remains, in her heart, true to the one man she really loves, the one man she can never have.

As Amber’s adventures unfold, the world of the Restoration and the Court of Charles II are brought vividly to life. From her humble beginnings in rural England, Amber, beautiful, determined, sexy and ruthless, refuses to let anyone or anything stand in her way. Her ascent to the upper echelons of London society is as spectacular in its audacity as it is dramatic in its consequences. From peasants to princes, Kathleen Winsor’s dissection of the manners and mores of Restoration England and the pomp and ceremony of Court recreates the sense of time and place, capturing in the rich atmosphere the bawdy excesses and immorality of the period. Forever Amber remains a sensual and classic love story, with a heroine at its heart who is as mischievous as she is romantic. This much-loved tale, read and adored by two generations, will engage and enchant contemporary readers.

As for my personal review: It’s indeed an engaging read, but it really can’t be compared to the epic Gone With The Wind. Amber does have alot of traits in common with Scarlett, and Bruce (the man she loves) is a cross between Ashley Wilkes and Rhett Butler. But Amber’s character just doesn’t have that same complexity as Scarlett O’ Hara. However, the writing is vivid and the section when they live through the Great Plague is particularly interesting (at least it had me typing ‘Great Plague’ in Google to find out more info!). The ending may come as a shock to some…it did to me! Without trying to spoil the book for those who haven’t and plan to read it…all I’ll say is that the ending had me flipping through the book just in case the last few pages were mixed up somewhere in the middle of the book! Yes…quite an abrupt ending! A movie was also made on this book in 1947, garnering mixed reviews at amazon.com…=)

I usually feel that if you read the book before watching the movie, you’ll probably end up being disappointed with the movie as there’s only so much you can cram into 2 hours. For me, an interesting story can get me so immersed that I literally have a ‘movie’ playing in my head as I flip the pages. And at the end of a really good book, I’ll usually end up looking abit dazed (more than usual *grin*) that I’ve been propelled out of my make-believe world back into the 21st century. This happened when I read Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire and The Order Of The Phoenix in one sitting (not both books in one sitting…that’s too much, even for me!), The Other Boleyn Girl and some of my favourite books. And there’s a smug satisfaction of finishing a good book, at the same time, a slight feeling of sadness that it’s all ended…

Anyways, I’ve just started on An Ideal Bride…but after reading 10+ books by Stephanie Laurens, I’m really starting to get bored with her stories. The reason I bought this book was cause I wanted the 20% discount and I couldn’t find Terry Pratchett’s A Hat Full Of Sky (which I later saw displayed at the entrance…damn!)…

I’m saving The Crimson Petal And The White for this weekend’s trip back to Ipoh…hope it’ll be good!

And more on books….back in January, I kinda reviewed Mitch Albom’s The Five People You Meet In Heaven. Well, I finally got my hands on Tuesdays With Morrie…and it’s a lovely lovely book. I read it during one of my lunch hours at the office and I nearly started crying. It’s well-written, heartfelt and absolutely touching. Personally, I liked it alot more than The Five People You Meet In Heaven…I mean, both are good books, but this just touches the heart.

OK…enough of books. Time for bed cause I’m collecting my car later today!!!