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To counter my post-Elena-weekend depression (we just sent her back to my parent’s place), I started looking through photos of her when she was born.

I haven’t seen those photos for quite some time now, and boy oh boy, I was really struck by how much she has grown!

This photo of her was taken the day after she was born…look at how thin her arms and legs were! I still remember how her head could fit in my palm.

And look at her now! This photo was taken last week…she’s bonny and blithe, as active as can be.

The only thing that has not changed? Her voice. She was the loudest one in the special care nursery despite being one month premature, and today, she can still scream the house down…

We brought her back to our new house this week! In the past few days leading up to this weekend, I’d been running around like a madwoman trying to get everything ready. We’d already bought her cot and a lovely bedding set, but I had to buy extra diapers, clothes, blankets, milk powder, rice cereal, etc. etc. etc….so exhausted it’s not funny. But it was more than worth it! I was so happy to have her home, even though it was only for the weekend…she slept on our bed on Saturday night and seeing her face when I woke up the next morning was the best feeling in the world!

We also finally started her on cloth diapers this week! I washed and dried the diapers three times before passing them on to my mum to try to ensure maximum absorbency. Unfortunately, within the first 2 days, we’d already had four ‘accidents’… The thing about my girl is that she hardly pees when she sleeps (which is not a bad thing). But when she wakes up…flood alert! I think I probably didn’t put enough inserts into the diapers hence the leaks.

However, cleaning the pee-soiled diapers is easy, just remove the inserts and throw the lot into the washing machine. Cleaning the poo-soiled diaper…hmm…it was abit icky at first, but I got over it. After all, it’s the product of what we feed her…haha…! I just held the diaper above the toilet bowl and used the bidet spray to wash off the poo, soaked it overnight and then threw it along with the next day’s diapers into the washing machine. I suppose cloth diapers are a lot about trial and error…certain ones work, certain ones doesn’t…but it’s abit hard to experiment if I’m not the one using it on her most of the time…sigh….

After much researching, I finally bought a Stokke Tripp Trapp for Elena to use in our new house. I like the idea of her being able to ‘eat’ at our dining table together with us, and the feedback that I read about Stokke from the net has been really good. I bought mine from Bebehaus @ 1U…decided to go for the full monty…the chair, the baby set, cushion, harness and the plastic table top that has interchangeable bases. What color? Red!

I initially had fears about the chair tipping backwards, and it didn’t help when I found some videos on YouTube showing exactly that. However, when I ‘tested’ it at the shop, I found that the feedback and instructions in the manual was right…as long as the floor is smooth, the chair will move backwards instead of tipping. But if there’s something restricting the chair (I used my foot), then yes, it’ll probably tip backwards. Since we’ll be using it on our marble floor, I won’t have to worry about it tipping, plus our table doesn’t have an edge for Elena to push her legs against. Anyhow, children are not supposed to be left unsupervised in their high chairs in any case, so I’ll make sure I keep a watchful eye on her when she’s sitting in her Tripp Trapp!

Developmental wise, she’s now able to sit quite well by herself. However, we still have to sit behind her as she has a tendency to topple to the side sometimes (coz she bends her legs as if she’s trying to stand up), or to the back (coz she like to straighten her legs and arch her back). Her hair is finally growing thicker, but it’s still taking a really long time to grow longer. It’s quite stiff though…she definitely took after hubby in this aspect! Can’t wait till her hair grows longer…then I can start buying hair clips and hairbands…

This week, Elena, hubby and I went out for dinner as a family for the first time (ie. just us three!) to Tropicana City Mall. Elena was so well behaved…she didn’t cry and she sat in her stroller entertaining herself while we ate dinner (didn’t even have to take turns). It was a very short trip out though as I didn’t really feel comfortable bringing her around a shopping mall filled with people. Yes, I know that people are supposed to self-quarantine if they are sick…but both you and I know the typical Malaysian mentality. One doctor told us that she has actually seen a family out walking about in The Curve when the kids were having full-blown chicken pox…sigh. It’s no wonder the number of local transmission cases has overtaken the imported cases. But I digress. Ranting about this will take another post altogether…

Elena is really enjoying her FP Rainforest Jumperoo these days. She now knows how to play with the toys surrounding the Jumperoo…

…she’ll crane her neck backwards to look at the dangling parrot, and she kicks her legs with abandon while grinning at us…she just looks so adorable!

On Saturday, I fed Elena her rice cereal and pumpkin, and for the first time, she finished all her rice cereal! How? I ‘spiked’ every mouthful with a drop of water and every time she opened her mouth to scream, I would put a small mouthful in. When I noticed that she would still swallow the rice cereal even though she was ‘complaining’, I kept it up and soon, the whole bowl was empty… So now I know…my girl is just complaining for the sake of complaining, and she definitely loves water!

That night after we came back from the mall, my little girl was so tired that she fell asleep halfway during her milk feed! I carried her close against my body, lay down on the bed and let her sleep on my chest with her head on my shoulders…gosh, it felt so good. I love the feeling of her weight on me, her hands curled around my neck, how her hair tickles my nose as she breathes. How I really treasure moments like these!

Yesterday evening, Elena was sleeping beside me when she suddenly woke up crying. It’s not the first time it has happened, but till now, I still feel really puzzled why she does that. If you can imagine how you’ll feel if you lost everyone you love, like the world has come to an end…well, that’s exactly how she sounds when she cries like this. It is absolutely heartrending, heartwrenching. She seems to be in the throes of a nightmare that she can’t wake from, and her mouth opens in a silent scream, then she just wails and tears come flowing down her cheeks. I quickly pick her up and hold her as close and as tight as possible, but most of the time, it doesn’t work. Her eyes are still shut and she just cries so pitifully that I feel my heart breaking into two. I have to rock her and speak to her loudly to wake her up, then only would she open her eyes, wake up and look at me with a bewildered look in her eyes.

Are these ‘night terrors’? It pains me to watch her cry like this. It just doesn’t seem right that a baby can feel this sad. Chinese old folks say that when your baby is your womb, your feelings and thoughts are somehow ‘passed’ down to him or her. What did I do during my pregnancy to have passed this sort of feeling to her? I don’t remember feeling so down and so sad during those nine months…I was joyous and happy! Was it some subconscious feeling I had?

When she finally calmed down, I got back into bed with her in my arms and rocked her back to sleep, whispering soothing words into her ear while holding her close to my body. As she drifted off to sleep, I could feel her body getting heavier in my arms as she relaxed. I looked at her, her eyelashes still wet with her tears, her fingers still clutching tightly on mine…and I started crying to myself. I just can’t bear the fact that my baby has a reason to feel so sad, to cry like she has been abandoned by everyone. I want her to always feel loved, safe, protected. I whispered to her…”Mummy and daddy will always be there for you. We love you very much, darling girl. We will always be there.” Although I know she won’t understand me, I hope that she can feel the deep love that we have for her and feel more secure and safe.

Have your kids ever cried like that? What did you do?

We finally moved to our new house this week! However, Elena is still staying at my parent’s place…we’ll be leaving her there for two weeks while we get everything settled, plus the house is still dirty and dusty – not the ideal place for a baby to stay at the moment!

Itchy gums…poor girl…

This week, I made broccoli and pumpkin for Elena (separately of course). The pumpkin was really easy to push through the sieve, but I felt like my hands were gonna drop off after mashing the broccoli! Definitely gonna go buy a blender. I prepared two types of veg this week as I wouldn’t have time to make any the following weekend with the unpacking and stuff, and stored it in the freezer using the Baby Cubes set that I bought. Elena apparently did not like broccoli when my mum fed it to her, but was willing to try the pumpkin, yay!

She bites her fingers every chance she gets!

Her gums seem to be getting quite itchy nowadays…I wonder if she’s gonna start teething soon? Even though I’ve bought many different types of teethers for her, she still prefers to chew and bite on her own fingers! She’s also very fascinated with her hands and can actually lie in bed or on our laps looking at her hands (when it’s out of her mouth, that is). She now reaches out for all sorts of objects, particularly handphones and remotes which fascinates her to no end, and she’s able to pass things from one hand to another.

She absolutely loves bath time…she uses her hands and legs to splash water all over herself (and us!)

With the move, we could finally move Elena’s cot back to her own room in my parent’s place vs. the room we were staying in (my dad’s room). She couldn’t really sleep the first two nights after the move…I think she wasn’t used to the surroundings, plus it was the first time I’ve been away from her since she was discharged from the hospital. Luckily, she settled down pretty well after that so no major dramas, phew! I really missed her to bits and I went back to my parent’s place every night to see her. No doubt it was tiring…together with waking up early for work, then rushing back to unpack, then rushing over to see Elena…I felt pretty exhausted. Still, the smile that she gives me when she sees me more than makes up for all the tiredness!