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I don’t know how I’m gonna be able to wait till June 28th - the next appointment with the gynae.

I’m feeling so paranoid and stressed coz you know all sorts of things could go wrong (touchwood!) at such an early stage…yet trying to not stress myself out over stuff like this.

Hubby is so cute though…he actually says good night to baby every night before we go to bed. How sweet is that? And even though I know baby can’t hear me yet…I talk to him/her whenever I get the chance, telling him/her that we both are so happy he/she’s here, asking him/her to grow strong and big in my tummy.

It’s such a wondrous feeling to know that you are carrying a baby in your womb. And it’s sort of a secret joy you get when nobody else knows yet.

Baby, we’re so happy that you’re here!

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..baby is the size of a sesame seed!

Photo and info from: Baby Center.

Been feeling tired for quite some time. Not the ‘if I sleep more I wouldn’t be so tired’ type of tired, but the ‘no matter how much I sleep, I’m still overwhelmingly tired!’ type.

Been feeling bloated.

Seem to have a tiniest hint of a possible cleavage.

And something’s late. Slight spotting, and then nada.

I was hopeful, yet I didn’t dare to hope too much. Did the test 3 weeks back and it was negative.

Trusty Google told me that the spotting might be implantation bleeding. Still I didn’t dare to hope. But I bought another test just in case. The most expensive one, this time…I thought…maybe the price varies by sensitivity and accuracy*.

And so, last night, I thought…what the heck, let’s try. Did the requisite 5 second thingy, put the cap back on and waited with my heart pounding. Unlike the previous tests that I’ve taken, Clear Blue shows the positive/negative results first, before the line confirming that the test was done correctly appears.

And there it was. A cross. +. Positive. And then, the confirmation line.

I couldn’t believe it. It was an overwhelming feeling of relief, nervousness, amazement…I really don’t know how to describe it.

And then I did the funniest thing. I put the test down. Took my shower, calmed myself down, towelled my hair dry, did the usual night routine of moisturizers, etc. Then…took a deep breath, grabbed the stick, stuck my head outside of the toilet door….

…and shared the good news with hubby!

I don’t know why I did that!

This morning, we went to the ob/gyn to confirm the results. As my periods do not follow the usual 28 day cycle, and has been really wacky since I got off the pill last year, the normal method of calculating the gestational age didn’t work…if based on the first day of my last menstrual period, I should be 7 wks along, but from the ultrasound, the doctor said I’m probably only 2-3 weeks at most.

I’m due back for another check in 2 weeks time, by which time, the ultrasound should show something more than a 5mm blip! In the meantime, I find myself unconsciously cradling and stroking my belly…and concentrating at work today was not easy! And on and off, I keep thinking “please god, please let this baby be strong and healthy“…

The first 3 months are usually the most risky, and hence, most people choose not to say anything. We decided to only tell our parents…but I just had to write everything down for the sake of remembering…

I’m excited and scared, all at the same time. It’s going to be a wonderful 9 months journey, and I plan to enjoy every minute of it. Yes, including the possible new found cleavage!

*: I did some Googling and it’s quite possible that the price does vary by sensitivity. Clearblue - the one I use - is able to detect a minimum hCG level of 25mIU. Some other brands are only able to detect a minimum hCG level of 50mIU. So depending on when you do the test, you might already be preggers but your hCG level isn’t high enough for that particular pregnancy teststick to detect, thus giving you a negative!